I wish I could take every good memory of my entire 19 years on this earth and wear them like scent everyday. I wish I could only live on laughter and the birdsong. I have learnt, lost, kept, wondered, touched, seen, heard, felt and loved. Last year on the my 18th, I was given a dark sapphire ring and only on very rare days does it let me see the beautiful rays of sparkling blue inside it. It is like those I love, I know they are there but sometimes it is hard to see them. Sometimes I wonder if I can make it past the enemy's schemes and lies, but then I am saved.
Strife is a good thing, it teaches me many things. I haven't known much yet, but I have known love. No one can tell you, you made a mistake, you can only do that. And then you can change. I wish that life could be blissful even in the storm.
I hope to live on yet, learning and listening as I go. I know I am blessed to get this far, we all are, but I also know I have a purpose and that means more than anything else to me. I hope never to make the same mistakes. I know I will make more, but I don't care, it is worth it. When I am at my weakest, God is strongest! I am so thankful for my childhood and my loving parents. I adore my sisters and my little brother, I wish forever that we could stay just as we are now. I know we must all grow and fly away, but deep down I don't want it, I want to have my family now and forever. It is never the same after, no matter how hard you try. This is all I know so far. This is my whole world right now. I am waiting on the edge of my future, yet this second is my entire existence. I know my family and I are on the verge of dispersion at any minute like the slow and setting sun, so I must hold on to it. I also know that one of us has already gone, but I try not to think on that. This may be my last spring in England, perhaps. Spring, my favourite time of year. I want to sing with the birds. And I do. I do sing with them. And I pray to God that I will never stop.